Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sunday, November 18 in the news.....

  • A mass grave filled with badly decomposed bodies was unearthed Saturday in southern Baghdad. Mass grave is another term for 'local street' in Baghdad.

  • Thousands of Hamas loyalists protested outside Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas's Gaza City home Friday, warning that violence would erupt if he makes concessions to Israel in a U.S.-sponsored peace conference. Abbas wasn't home at the time, and has decided to put it up for sale, real estate agents expect the property to go for at least 22 deaths when it is eventually bombed.

  • French rail strikes entered a fourth day on Saturday with fewer trains running than a day before. With more people walking and riding to work, tourists have been warned to stay indoors if they are already sensitive to French body odour.

  • Washington's No. 2 diplomat met with President Gen. Pervez Musharraf on Saturday - a bit of face-to-face diplomacy aimed at convincing the general to move back toward democracy. Meanwhile, Washington's No. 1 diplomat was hard at work convincing the rest of the world Pakistan had a democracy. In related news, Washington's No. 3 diplomat was out and about convincing foreign media that the No. 1 and No. 2 U.S. diplomats should be taken seriously.

  • China called on Myanmar to speed up democratic reforms, state media reported Saturday. Myanmar is considering changing the name of the country to Democracy. U.S. diplomats said they can't, but Myanmar said a country called Democracy is Democratic. Pakistan sent their congratulations, President Bush tried to but got the letter smacked out of his hand by Laura.

  • The Earth is hurtling toward a warmer climate at a quickening pace, a Nobel-winning U.N. scientific panel said in a landmark report released Saturday. To save face they refused to cite 'cows farting' as the primary reason why the world is facing doom and gloom.

  • Aid groups in Congo have secured the release of 232 child soldiers from militia fighters who forcibly recruited them in the east of the country. The children have to now wait till 13 to contribute to the region's instability.

  • At least 3,867 members of the U.S. military have died since the beginning of the Iraq war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count. The AP had to recount after they thought they double-counted toe tags at 1,562. And again at 2,455.

  • In Egypt, the attack a decade ago was stunning, and is still recalled with horror: Islamic militants with knives and automatic weapons killed 58 foreign tourists - mainly Germans, Swiss and Japanese - at one of Egypt's most popular pharaonic temples. Some of the bodies were mutilated. Today, the tragedy is remembered as the good ol days when Islamic terrorism was random and uncoordinated in the world.

  • Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko on Thursday defended his country's award of a top honor to a man accused of murdering thousands of Jews during World War II. The Ukrainian President told the Israeli ambassador, 'You got to understand, I'm a very popular man when I do this, not just here but all over the world, it's like being a member of The Beatles'.

  • The estranged wife of a pastor claims her husband blended his professional and personal finances so thoroughly that his church should be counted as an asset in their divorce. The sale of the church is expected to be interesting, and will be noted among divorce settlements as having the lamest real estate sale ad possibly of all time: 'Location Location Location! Just ask God!'