Monday, December 31, 2007

The Big News in Review......
April to June....


A German phone thief led police right to his front door when they called the stolen mobile to say he had won some free beer and he willingly gave his address. He has been offered political asylum in Australia.

Pope Benedict XVI is planning to visit New York City for a trip to the United Nations headquarters. Organisers are still figuring out how they are going to fit the Pope Mobile in the elevator.

A NASA worker took a handgun inside an office building Friday at the Johnson Space Center and fatally shot a hostage before killing himself, police said. A second hostage escaped with minor injuries. NASA tried to emphasise the positives by saying the Johnson Space Center has never lost a man in space.

A Virginia Tech senior from South Korea was behind the massacre of at least 30 people locked inside a campus building in the deadliest shooting rampage in modern U.S. history, the university said Tuesday. There is some heated debate about how a South Korean found time away from the internet to commit such a massacre.

Britain's Ministry of Defense faced fierce criticism on Monday for letting 15 sailors and marines held captive in Iran sell their stories to the media. '15 Short Stories of Surrender' will be available in both hard cover and paperback.


The United States ambassador in Baghdad said he and his Iranian counterpart agreed broadly on topics concerning the Middle East yesterday, following the first bilateral public talks between the two countries in almost 30 years. Iran promised to end any support for Israel and America promised no more support for Hezbollah or al-Qaeda.

The former head of the World Bank Paul Wolfowitz, who resigned in a row about his companion's promotion, said on Monday he had been forced to quit because emotions at the organization had become "overheated". The Europeans were angered at what is a traditional American appointment being filled by someone with ties to the Iraq war and questionable qualifications for the position. Wolfowitz dismissed the lack of qualifications as a bunch of hot air, saying "I'm Jewish, this is a bank, does a black guy play basketball? I mean come on."

A sparrow took a crap on President Bush's arm today at a press conference. Noticing the blemish, the President quickly cleared it away and then declared to the press corps that he will not be removing his outdoor Rose Garden addresses due to the sparrow attack, instead he challenged Democrats to support a continuation of his current policy. Meanwhile, Vice President Dick Cheney has begun working with pigeons in the hope they can drive out sparrows from the Washington DC area.

Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki, the first European to win the NBA's Most Valuable Player award, said on Tuesday he still felt a deep emptiness about his team's playoff collapse. He said he tried writing to the fans to apologise for his performance in the First Round but he couldn't get the words right - his frustration was only compounded more everytime he'd scrunch up the paper to throw in the bin and it would end up on the floor.

Mullah Dadullah, the feared Taliban commander killed at the weekend in battle with U.S.-led forces in Afghanistan, has been replaced by his younger brother, a Taliban spokesman said. His other 75 brothers walked away empty-handed and disappointed.


Israel opened part of a major commercial crossing with Gaza on Thursday for the first time since the Islamist group Hamas seized control of the coastal strip two weeks ago, U.N. and Israeli officials said. Wheat was transferred weighing about 5,000 tonnes, and it will be processed in mills in Gaza. Some bags of wheat failed inspections at Hamas checkpoints and were consequently tied to the back of cars and dragged through the streets while Hamas militants shot at them.

Intrusion on Muslim lands is what drives the hatred of Indonesia-based extremist network Jemaah Islamiah for the West, the group's jailed military boss told CNN in an interview broadcast today. When asked what specific Muslim lands he was talking about the miltary boss said 'Earth'.

New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son '4real,' saying numerals are not allowed. Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby '4real' shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival. Although the authorities shot the name down, they did approve the child to call his parents 'Idiot1' and 'Idiot2'.

Hamas fighters overran two of the rival Fatah movement's most important security command centers in the Gaza Strip on Thursday, major advances in the Islamic group's attempts to take over Gaza. "We are telling our people that the past era has ended and will not return," Islam Shahawan, a spokesman for Hamas' militia, told Hamas radio. "The era of justice and Islamic rule and chocolate cake has arrived." The Hamas spokesman looked down at his reader notes then turned back to his fellow militants, "Okay, who added chocolate cake?"

Former Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer died of natural causes, and not of murder as initially suspected, Jamaican police said on Tuesday. This report surfaced after they reclassified natural causes to include Pakistan being knocked out of the World Cup in the first stage.

President George W. Bush said on Saturday he felt "awe" in the presence of Pope Benedict, who urged him to seek "regional and negotiated" solutions to Middle East conflicts like Iraq. When asked if he would ever feel like that in front of anyone else, Bush said, "Yes. Shrek."