Democrats won an upset victory in Virginia today, giving them control of the US Senate and House for the first time since 1994, just hours after Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld became the first casualty of the mid-term election rout. The party got off to a big start as Michael Moore bonged 15 beers and ran naked through Manhattan - news headlines in New York were swift "The 9/11 of Indecency".

Prime Minister John Howard said today that the retirement of Mr Rumsfeld was a matter for the US, but it seemed to be “a gesture acknowledging the unease that some people felt". Australian Defence Minister Brendan Nelson said Mr Rumsfeld was “a true champion of freedom" with a distinguished record of service. New Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi added further by calling him 'a vicious front-footed Pro-Anglosphere enabler who never once told me how good I looked since I've been in politics.'

U.S. forces killed 38 suspected insurgents and wounded nine in fighting in northern Baghdad that lasted nearly an hour-and-a-half on Sunday, the U.S. military said on Wednesday. Democratic Senator John Kerry - at a post-celebration party after hearing the news - told awaiting media "those morons better enjoy it while they can, we're bringing home the American retards with the big guns at first chance."

One day after Britney Spears filed for divorce from husband Kevin Federline, the fledgling rapper responded on Wednesday with court papers seeking spousal support and custody of their two children. The divorce had been in the works since Britney was reportedly heard at a recent Halloween party screaming at him “you’re useless - you’re a nobody”. Democratic Senator John Kerry chimed in on the situation commenting "that guy should have been in Iraq."