Monday, March 12, 2007

Monday, March 12 in the news.....

  • Islamic militants threatened to attack Germany and Austria unless the two European nations break ranks with the U.S. and withdraw their personnel from Afghanistan, according to a Web statement. The U.S. warned the militants they would not be able to defend them after this move.

  • A spot check by federal agents has identified street gang members in Southern California jails who are illegal immigrants subject to deportation. Violent gangs are rife in this part of the state and crime is increasing as a crackdown gets under way. In related news the lawless tribal region Waziristan in Pakistan, wants sister city status with Los Angeles.

  • A Chinese lawmaker revived calls for the removal of a Starbucks coffee shop from Beijing's famed Forbidden City, saying its presence was a smear on China's historical legacy. Starbucks wasn't the issue though, it was the fact that it was owned by 'a group of goddamn Mongolians'.

  • The EU's environment commissioner has called for a maximum speed limit on German highways to slow down the notoriously swift traffic on the nation's autobahns. Police are expected to enforce, and German motorists are expected to cause them maximum confusion in the ensuing blitzkrieg.