"Be careful. Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees and Boston Celtics."

-- Jesus

It's gonna get religious up in this motherfucker!

Just under 30 minutes to go....

My warm-ups are complete on the Wii, hit a round of 42+ on golf in 9 holes, I am Tiger Woods if Tiger Woods was retarded. Now time for a relaxing beer, I sho' earnt it.


(San Antonio Spurs and Phoenix Suns with 4 minutes left. Shaq just missed his 5000th free throw, I'm honored to have witnessed it.)

(Tony Parker is choking, missed two key teardrops, his specialty in the last 2 minutes here, under a minute to go, Amare Stoudemire has the same problem on the other end. Both teams are executing like a moonshine drunk Russian with a sniper rifle.)

(88 a piece for Spurs and Suns. 7.7 seconds to go.)

(Grant Hill hits the easy shot to take the Suns to 90. Can the Spurs respond?)

(ROGER MASON HITS THE THREE!!! GAME SPURS!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS SAN ANTONIO!)

OKAY.

Now the real game starts.....

TIPOFF, LAKERS WIN THE TIP

Ray Allen still sucks.

Derek Fisher, nice fishing! Three ball, to answer Ray Allen early.


Haha Rondo on two fouls ALREADY. Sit his arse down Boston, I like seeing him off the court.

BYNUM SLAMS THAT SHIT, Fast Break, thy name is Lakers.

'Poor transition defence by the Lakers', I certainly hope I don't hear this ringing in my ears all game... Especially with Rondo on the court. But guess what yep yep he's on two fouls! I hope he picks up a few more, before half-time.

I do believe Kobe Bryant is in the house.

Ray Allen is the most automatic three-point shooter in the history of this game.

Kobe already at 10 points and first quarter ain't finished just yet.

FIRST QUARTER

CELTICS -- 24 LAKERS -- 23

(I love the ads on national US TV there, Jamie Foxx's new album advertised and Jim Carrey's new film Yes Man too. Very nice. Oh and Grant Hill and Amare Stoudemire on an ad, but they couldn't combine for the win against the Spurs so why is Grant Hill comparing himself to Denzel for the one-take acting? These guys are no Denzel on the court.)

Second quarter underway, Kobe is IN THE HOUSE.



OMG BEST PLAY EVAH


Kobe slapped the ball ahead to Trevor Ariza who saved it with a man on him falling out of bounds back to Sasha Vujacic (my man!) who also had a man all over him but still hit the two and took the foul for a three point play!

(They had time for an interview in that time-out with Adam Sandler and Kevin James, both guys are naturally funny, good stuff, so they aren't just funny with scripted dialogue.)

Vujacic with the three! I love it so much.

Third foul for Rondo. Oh yes. Yes yes.

Please get Rondo out. Please, more fouls for him.

So many good plays going down, I'm mesmorised.

Rondo's already got 7 assists and Kobe has 16 points on 8 of 12 shots and it's not half-time yet.

(Dickhead commentators, mention Houston Cleveland and LA and Boston for the threat to win the championship, and forget the bloody Spurs who won in 2003, 2005, and 2007, and took the Suns manhood earlier today, yeah let's count them out.... dipshits)

HALF-TIME

CELTICS -- 45 LAKERS -- 51


(Ads again, this time, um, Chris Paul advertising deodorant: "When you combine power sexy with perfect sexy, you get power perfect sexy." Okay I get it, his pits don't stink, that's enough Chris Paul for me.)

(Magic Johnson is interviewing Kobe Bryant. Magic talked about passing the torch to Jordan, now I'd say 'up yourself dude?' But it's true, Magic made a team, he made a team win. He even made Kareem Abdul-Jabbar likable outside of the film 'Flying High!' Just kidding, Jabbar was never likable. For Magic, it was a damn shame how it all ended. He would have kept winning in the 90s I believe, just give him a team and he'd make it better, he was unselfish epitomised. Anyways, he got AIDS, sucked in, Mike then pwned the 90s.)


Third quarter begins....

Kevin Garnett is 7 for 7 shots. Ouch.


I LOST MY CONNECTION! It switched to Disney Channel OMG. I laughed I smiled it was a funny show, then I realised it wasn't an ad!1!!

I switched to Spanish TV! I can't understand! Paul Pierce in Spanish huh!?

I now got it back, but a bit more delayed, not as live, but I continue! PHEW.

Not heaps delayed. It's cool. And Lakers are 62 to Celts 56. That's what I like.


I had to go back to Spanish and it hurt so much to see the score go like it has! I got Jose telling me what's happening but Jose can't speak my language! The score does NOOOO!!!

Now I'm back. BACK!

(Oh no an ad for Seven Pounds. STOP IT. It hurts to even look at that. That film sucks not cause it's not good, but cause of its...EVERYTHING. So tragic.)

Vujacic for 3!

64 a piece each.

BACK TO BACK THREES LAMAR ODOM!!!

THIRD QUARTER

CELTICS -- 67 LAKERS -- 71


That was the most stressful third quarter I've ever been through - the Lakers trailing for a bit my loss of connectivity, Spain!!! TV, and my return, to the original broadcast. PHEW. Odom saved me with his threes. And my man Vujacic isn't taking it lying down. PHEW.


Last quarter action....


Finally, Kobe is back. Nice two.

(Ads again, a deodorant commercial, 'Protect from Manstink', this is much tougher and soooo less gayer than Chris Paul's attempt.)

Damn you Eddie House.

Garnett coming back in.

77-75 to Lakers.

This is getting tense. It's tied again.


TREVOR ARIZA SAVES ANOTHER BALL BEFORE IT GOES OUT OF BOUNDS! Oh I stand and clap I do.

Bynum blocks Rondo on the drive GET IT OUT OF HERE

I don't like Kevin Garnett.

Actually, hate him.

KOBE!!!!


Eat shit Rondo, yeah Gasol is a skinny loser. How you like that COLLISION.

We have ads because Rondo is crying from Gasol's bump, oh Celtics they're tough. Why is Garnett called the greatest leader by Doc Rivers by this commentary team? Is Kobe invisible, did Phil Jackson lose all his cred? And the media thinks everything is on the Lakers dick.

(Ads. Pierce just wished a message to the troops, it wasn't as good as Kobe's.)



KOBE TO GASOL


HAVING THEIR WAY.


(Ads. Oh no. Chris Paul! AGAIN! Deodorant! Oh no! They're NOT SEXY!)


85-81 advantage Lakers

Still hate Garnett.

GASOL!!!!!!!!!!!

THREE-POINT PLAY! SPAIN!!!!!


Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol, so beautiful.

88 to 83 Lakers way.


Pau Gasol blocked Ray Allen on the AUTOMATIC and then to Trevor Ariza for the REVERSE DUNK.

(watch in HD, do it baby do it!)

I LOVE PAU GASOL!1!!


FULL TIME

CELTICS -- 83 LAKERS -- 92


Oh wow.

Speechless right now. Get another beer, and then let's talk about the Celtics 19 game win streak COMING TO AN END.


Phil Jackson post-game interview summary:

Offense is our pleasure, defence is our work. Good point. Trevor Ariza in hustle plays was great. Agree. Ariza was defensely great. Agree. He was Hustle. Yep. Kobe was energy. Agree. Energy was intense. It takes concentration to beat a team like the Celtics. Farmar is injured yeah it's sad and it hurts. Oh they cut it off again, not like Disney Channel though, to NFL. I don't care. End.

Anyways, the Lake Show demoralised the Celtics. Good. Great. That's right.

WHACK, BAM, PAU!!!!!!





Phil Jackson has now won 1000 games. Thanks to Mike Jordan and Kobe Bryant. Two best players ever.