Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thursday, February 8 in the news.....

  • A Chinese zoo is running a Big Brother style competition with a difference – the contestants have to live in a monkey enclosure. Six people will live with the monkeys in the zoo in the northwestern province of Shaanxi "to experience the lack of freedom the animals have", the China Daily said today. The Chinese Government is hoping the experiment goes well, and that no humans will teach the monkeys who lack the knowledge of freedom yet to stand in front of Chinese tanks in a mock Tiananmen Square.

  • Europeans are complaining that Americans are using their status to get them to stay tough on Iran, while Americans are complaining that Europeans are putting business interests in Iran first. Meanwhile, both are irritated that the Russians maintain multi-billion dollar trade interests with Iran, but the Russians do not care, with a Russian spokesman stating "We do it for the Motherland, and the Motherland is a violently promiscuous and wily old whore who with her loaf of bread and sack of potatoes made money while drunk on moonshine vodka by selling herself to gain power and control wherever her sex appeal could take her."

  • The worst attack in years on the internet's infrastructure, which used infected computers around the world as "zombies", has slowed traffic but failed to bring down the web, security experts said. Today the suspected 'Hack the World' alliance went back to eating sherbet drinking Coke popping pimples and being distracted by video games and internet porn to try it again.

  • Donnatella Versace has came out criticising Hillary Clinton's wardrobe stating "She should treat femininity as an opportunity and not try to emulate masculinity in politics." And Versace had even more to say on her stance on Iraq: "IEDs and Truck Bombs are so last year, I want to see less jungle green in Iraq and more olive drab in Afghanistan."