Saturday, March 24 in the news.....
- A new English-language interpretation of the Muslim Holy book the Koran challenges the use of words that feminists say have been used to justify the abuse of Islamic women. The new version, translated by an Iranian-American, will be published in April and comes after Muslim feminists from around the world gathered in New York last November vowing to create the first women's council to interpret the Koran. The book tour of the Muslim World will begin soon and is expected to be a bloodbath.
- Germany's youngest celebrity, Knut the polar bear cub, made his much-anticipated public debut at Berlin Zoo on Friday and appeared unfazed by the media scrum surrounding his first excursion. Germans are calling it the cutest public display since Reinhard Heydrich hugged his mum.
- Kobe Bryant became only the second player in NBA history to score 50 or more points in four consecutive games in leading the Los Angeles Lakers to a 111-105 road win over the New Orleans Hornets on Friday. When asked if he was 'going to Disneyland' after this achievement, Bryant responded "No. I'm going to Colorado."
- Britain's crisis with Iran deepened last night after Tehran justified seizing 15 British servicemen by claiming that they had strayed into Iranian territorial waters 'illegally'. The crisis comes on the back of some high profile men tied to the Iranian Revolutionary Guards going missing which Iran blames on the West. In related news Myanmar snatched some Rocky DVDs from a US tourist sightseeing near the Andaman Sea and is awaiting government to government negotiations.
- European Union leaders gathered in Berlin Saturday for the bloc's 50th birthday celebrations. Citizens of Berlin also celebrated the 62nd anniversary of vast rapings and pillagings by Russian soldiers.
- Australian Test cricket legend and Indian coach Greg Chappell said Bob Woolmer's murder has him fearing for his life after his own team were bundled out early in the first round of the World Cup. Greg Chappell has been reassured by many Indians though that they do things Gandhi style and Indians are not dirty muslim bastards whose country accommmodates the Taliban and Osama.