Sunday, June 17 in the news.....
- Hamas cemented its control over Gaza today, seizing weapons from the pro-Fatah security services they routed in the territory, where even the home of iconic leader Yasser Arafat became a looting target. Hamas was disgusted at what they found, disgusted that in the cupboards all there was to eat were cheetos.
- More than 200 child soldiers swapped guns for schoolbooks in Central African Republic today after being released by rebels. During the fighting, the kids took the game of chasing and lifting up girls skirts to a whole new level.
- President Bush warned Congress on Saturday that he will use his veto power to stop runaway government spending. When asked why he hadn't been so willing to stop the rampant spending like this before, Bush's spokesman said the President preferred to try and stop the spending by sending more spending its way in a surge expected to quell further spending.
- In California a toddler who was served a margarita at a restaurant earlier this week is doing well. Police say he was accidentally served the drink in a sippy cup and the mistake wasn't realised until the toddler demanded another before calling his parents arseholes.
- Yemeni Shiite rebels said on Saturday they had accepted a ceasefire proposed by the government to end months of violent clashes that have killed hundreds. They agreed to it after realising they were not getting the large viewer ratings of other hit jihads around the region.
- With Hamas forces threatening his life, the general manager of Fatah-controlled Palestine TV, Abu Nada, took a harrowing journey to safety, dodging Hamas checkpoints and crawling the final 300 yards to the Gaza Strip's border with Israel. Once there, instead of throwing rocks and shouting curses at Israeli positions he threw flowers and blew kisses.
- Enraged Fatah leaders on Saturday accused Hamas militiamen of stealing Arafat's Nobel Peace Prize medal. "The Palestinian people will never forgive the Hamas gangs for looting the home of the Palestinian people's great leader, Yasser Arafat," Fatah spokesman Abdel Rahman said today, and noting the taking of the medal, "When we catch the Hamas members who took Arafat's Peace Prize we will slaughter them."