Wednesday, June 20, 2007

President Bush Edition
Wednesday, June 20 in the news....

  • U.S. President George W. Bush reiterated on Tuesday that all options were on the table in dealing with Iran's nuclear challenge. When asked by a reporter if that included an arm-wrestling competition, Bush said, "You like to make light of how people think I'm a simple man don't you." He then summoned an aide and whispered in his ear, before addressing the reporter once again, "I've just requested that the Constitution be checked, I know Governor Schwarzenegger wasn't born here and there's something about that in the founding papers, but I would like to think he'd lead us in any arm-wrestling challenge against those Iranians".

  • President Bush and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on Tuesday sought to bolster Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in his battle with Hamas for primacy, calling him a moderate voice and the only true leader of the Palestinian people. Except for that time the Palestinian people voted in Hamas. Bush sought to clarify the issue, "That was democracy, but bad democracy, evil-doer democracy," Olmert nodded his head approvingly, so Bush went on, "The terrorists won that election, well the terrorists aren't allowed to win democratic elections, othwerwise Sheriff Dubya will pull out his badge and mosey into town on his horse and say 'Hey, evil-doers, you are not winning this one, the Sheriffs here, Sheriff Dubya, I'm gonna clean up this town, that's right, so listen up, you need to obey law and order, get some jobs at the local saloon, clean up your acts'", at this point Olmert begun to shake his head, Bush wrapped up, "So in conclusion, don't mess with Texas. You don't wanna mess with Texas."

  • The Republican GOP field vying for the 2008 Presidency are beginning to back away from Bush. Declining poll numbers are making it safe for GOP candidates to oppose the President on some issues, including whether a president should have an afternoon nap after being advised on Russian infiltration of intelligence services while eating a choc top ice cream.

  • President Bush unwrapped Father's Day gifts Sunday at his Texas ranch where the skies let go a deluge of rain that turned roadside gullies into muddy ponds and closed the main road into this tiny Texas community. Bush was pleased to get the gift unwrapping out of the way so he could go outside and jump in the puddles.