Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tuesday, August 14 in the news....

  • A hunter and herdswoman from Arctic Russia hopes to claim the title of the world's oldest living person following new research, Interfax news agency reported today. The woman put her longevity down to good eating habits and avoiding criticism of Russian leaders from Stalin through to Putin.

  • Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki will convene a political summit on Tuesday in hopes of ending Iraq's deepening governmental crisis, he announced Monday. The invitations vastly overestimated the seats available on expectations many attending will be dead by then.

  • Less than two weeks after Mattel Inc. recalled 1.5 million Chinese-made toys because of lead paint, Mattel is set to announce the recall of another toy involving a different Chinese supplier as early as Tuesday. Meanwhile, Santa Claus has had a surprising outburst at his suppliers, telling them, 'any of you motherfuckers supply me with that dangerous commie-made toy shit and you're fixing to get slapped like a bitch and dumped by Rudolph in a 19th century graveyard in Siberia'.

  • Chicago is looking at taxing bottled water to help close a city budget gap. If that works it will tax flushing toilets next.

  • Convicted terrorism supporter David Hicks wants to disappear into the Australian bush after he is released from jail later this year, his father Terry says. He believes the outback is the best place to set up a terrorist camp outside of Afghanistan.