US forces are trapped in Iraq, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said today, warning that Washington must find the right time to leave without plunging the country deeper into chaos. A lone protester stood outside the UN building in New York after Kofi's comments were revealed..... "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf**ker! Throw his ass out, he's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! A nigger, look, there's a nigger!"

A recent survey said the most unfriendly country for tourists is now the USA. Upon hearing the news the French broke out the wine and cheese and had a celebration on the Champs-Élysées.

A Japanese submarine collided with a civilian cargo ship during exercises in waters off southern Japan Tuesday, defense officials said. There were no immediate reports of any injuries. The cause of the incident has been put down to Asian drivers.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, called this afternoon for troop withdrawal from Iraq starting next year and negotiations with Iran and Syria over the war-torn country's future. President Bush has yet to respond but a lone dissenter voiced his displeasure with Senator Obama... "Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass!"