January 19 in the news.....
- California is set to introduce a bill to ban the spanking of children. Meanwhile, smoking weed in front of children will still be okay.
- Western nations fear China has sparked a new arms race in space with the ballistic missile destruction of one of its own satellites. The action was the first known satellite-killing test in space in more than 20 years, the White House said today. China said today that other nations had no reason to feel threatened by its space program, except for 'those goddamn Mongolians'.
- A pipeline carrying Russian oil to the European Union via Ukraine has been shut off after high winds led to power shortages in western Ukraine that forced a pumping station to close down, an official said today. President Putin of Russia rang Al Gore and wanted a list of the biggest culprits of Global Warming so he could poison them.
- A U.S. spacecraft is zooming toward a close encounter with Jupiter to study its tempestuous atmosphere, ring system and four of its moons before dashing off to see distant Pluto in 2015, scientists said on Thursday. If the plan fails, President Bush has promised to send 10 more satellites.
