January 9 in the news.....
- A U.S. air strike hit targets in southern Somalia where Islamic militants were believed to be sheltering suspects in the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies, Somali officials and witnesses said Tuesday. President Abdullahi Yusuf told journalists in the capital, Mogadishu, that the U.S. "has a right to bombard terrorist suspects who attacked its embassies." Deputy Prime Minister Hussein Aideed told The Associated Press the U.S. had "our full support for the attacks." The Islamic terrorists told anyone who would listen that "This is some bullshit."
- In South Carolina a security guard has shot at a fleeing woman who stole a book from the library he was guarding. When reached for comment, the security guard muttered "Motherfuckers need to learn how to borrow correctly."
- The German Chancellor has stated that the sudden suspension of oil deliveries through the Druzhba pipeline in Belarus destroyed confidence in Russia as an energy supplier. Germany did not have an immediate answer to this recurring problem, but killing, deporting, and enslaving the Russian and other Slavic populations in the East and repopulating with Germanic peoples was raised as a possible long term solution by one government official 67 years ago.
- Governor Schwarzenegger has put together a proposal to provide health care cover for all in California. The plan is ambitious, and when asked why Californians should have any confidence in the plan, the Governor noted that he had previously provided air to all of Mars successfully.
- China will sink under the weight of its own rubbish within 13 years as millions of rural dwellers migrate to more affluent urban areas, state media reported today. This 'rubbish styled quicksand' means when Bugs Bunny digs a hole Elmer Fudd can follow and finally get him with the double-barreled shotgun.
- A Muslim group linked to the London bombings and banned in parts of Europe and the Middle East has booked a southwest Sydney town hall to stage a conference later this month. Hizb-ut-Tahrir has booked the Bankstown Town Hall for January 27, News Ltd newspapers report, and in a video promoting the conference claims it is to discuss the coming of an Islamic superstate. The conference is $40 at the door, but those with beards longer than one inch get in free.
- British surgeons have condemned a plastic surgery lottery that offers winners money for face lifts, breast enlargements and tummy tucks. London-based Europa International is running what is thought to be the world's first lottery for cosmetic surgery. The winner gets the Pamela Anderson look. The booby prize gets the Michael Jackson look.
