Jeb Bush let his agitation show on the campaign trail today when he complained about gridlock and partisanship. “I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.” Bush then played the campaign song that will feature in his run, Adele's Hello.

A major earthquake has struck north-eastern Afghanistan, the US Geological Survey says, shaking the capital Kabul and sending shockwaves that were also felt in north India and Pakistan. Aid was being set up to be dispatched from the West, until word came back it knocked off half the Taliban.

A primary school in Melbourne has been slammed for permitting Muslim students to leave assembly when the Australian national anthem is played. The principal defended the decision, saying Shi'a Muslims do not participate in joyful events, including listening to music or singing, during Muharram. A parent then said as part of her children's traditional bogan observances they should be permitted to sing to those kids "fuck off back home ya cunts."

A lawyer representing four men accused of raping their friend with a beer bottle on Australia Day has asked for the charges to be dropped, because the incident was a silly prank. The judge said he would have to decide whether allowing them to walk away could set a precedent for many other men to be raped with beer bottles on future Australia Day's.

Former NBA star Lamar Odom reportedly suffered 12 strokes, which are believed to have impacted his motor skills - soon after his collapse at a brothel in Nevada earlier this month. Doctors said the impact on his brain function could improve his acceptance of still being married to a Kardashian.

Tony Blair has apologised for mistakes made over the Iraq War - and said there were "elements of truth" to claims the war caused the rise of Islamic State. When pushed to take full claim for the Islamic State, Blair said he really couldn't, instead giving full credit to Mohammad.

Balkan countries are threatening to close their borders if European Union members in northern Europe stop accepting asylum seekers streaming north from Greece and Macedonia. The concept of a border-free European zone to help dissolve conflict and form better solidarity among Europeans appears to be stumbling. Observers say it could end in conflict, except this time they won't use weapons they'll just throw their Arabs at each other.

Catch-and-release shark traps, drones and floating internet networks are set to be trialled from this summer in a bid to nudge nervy NSW beachgoers back into the water. The state's north coast has become ground zero for shark attacks this year and will be at the centre of the government's initiative to keep surfers, in particular, safe. The surfing community will also unveil a new slogan to promote the sport at beaches along the coast: "You can still surf with one arm and sometimes one leg".

The family of a 12-year-old boy labelled Australia's youngest terror suspect have broken their silence and revealed that authorities never contacted them to discuss how their son could be de-radicalised. One of the boy's relatives is in Goulburn's SuperMax facility for ram-raiding an ATM and threatening to kill an ASIO officer. Another relative is also in the same facility as a result of the ram-raid - which authorities allege was an attempt to raise funds for foreign fighters. When media inquired how a 12 year old boy could possibly be a terrorist, a government official said this was one of the wonderful aspects of the changes to immigration policies in the 1960s that begun the de-Anglocisation of Australia.

The owner of a Melbourne bar has apologised after displaying a sign saying 'no poofter drinks'. After being bombarded by angry comments on its Facebook page the bar relented saying 'poofters win this round'.

The United States and Saudi Arabia have agreed to increase support to Syria's moderate opposition while seeking a political resolution of the four-year conflict. The vetting process for moderates was highlighted by the U.S. State Department:
"Are you Sunnis associated with ISIS?"
"No we are not."
"Okay here are weapons and vehicles."

The cost of Australia’s new F-35 stealth combat jets is set to soar as Canada threatens to abandon its purchase of the controversial and trouble-prone aircraft. Almost 20 years on from the oft-delayed process, the Joint Strike Fighter is expected to be unveiled soon at an airshow in China.

America's F.B.I. Chief has linked scrutiny of police with a rise in crime in big cities. He then went on to warn traditionalist Americans not to jump on board that old 18th century canard of distrust in authorities when it didn't impact them much, highlighting how the job of their local police is to treat all minorities like shit equally.

The first American in four years to die in combat in Iraq was shot during an attempt to free hostages held by the Islamic State. President Obama highlighted this as one of the positives of his legacy, saying, "See, no Americans have died in Iraq in my 2nd term until now. That's a heck of a turnaround in military tragedies. All it took was to withdraw troops and unleash the most frightening Islamic organisation the planet has seen in modern times."

Hurricane Patricia has caused less damage than feared in Mexico, with all drug cartels claiming economic losses were small.

Pakistani Shiites are demanding protection after a suicide bomber targeted an Ashoura procession on Friday night, killing at least 18 people and injuring 40 others. One bystander (pictured) replied, "You lucky bastards! Who's the Sunni Muslims pet hey? Oh what I wouldn't give to be bombed at a religious procession! They just torture me. They must think the sun shines out of your arse!"




A top online UFO expert has 'discovered' what he says is an ancient tomb visible on the surface of Mars in a NASA Curiosity Rover photo. It backs supposed evidence that an eons-old civilization once inhabited Mars and left behind a planet full of artifacts. NASA warned that taking drugs on the internet has the same result as taking them in public.

Australian model Robyn Lawley got real about her post-baby body, proudly revealing her stretch marks in a new snap on social media. The picture was a great statement for the reality of female bodies post-pregnancy, and another sign that gave Western men pause as to why half of the critical power structure should be handed over to women.

Swedish police say they believe a man armed with a sword who killed a teacher and child had 'racist motives' for the attack at a school where most of the students were from immigrant families. Sweden's government was upset at the situation, saying they're hoping they can play their usual duck and hide neutrality while the children of Germany do most of the work murdering the latest wave of history's Muslim invaders to Europe.

Tom Brady says he wants to play American football for another 10 years. He went on, saying all 42 year old white guys deserve the chance to be sacked by four 25 year old black men on steroids before they realise they went too far.

The White House announced that the U.S. had dropped 50 tons of ammunition to Syrian Arabs fighting the Islamic State. Some officials now say that the new Arab coalition was a front and that Kurdish groups received most of the weapons -- as the U.S. intended. Both an EU and Greek representative called the U.S. afterwards and asked how good does it feel to screw those Turks.

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has been awarded this year's Confucius Peace Prize, an award that is considered a Chinese rival to the Nobel peace prize. The Chinese peace prize prioritises the murder of white western farmers this year, but is expected to award other racial supremacist dictators in the future unless they're Japanese.

German officials say they’ve foiled an extremist plot to torch migrant shelters, adding to concerns over rising attacks on refugees in Europe as migrant arrivals hit new records. The EU continues to hold the line that Europe's historical record with non-Europeans has completely changed over the last 50 years with the new policy of multiculturalism and national identity along ethnic lines is 'totally not us anymore'.

New Zealand plans to change area names of Nigger Hill, Nigger Stream and Niggerhead, in the middle of New Zealand's south island, due to their offensive nature. A spokesman for the NZ government said, "well crap it's 2015, with migration these days we actually have niggers living here now, so we better fucking change it before they figure it out. Hey did I just say nigger again? Shit I did."

The victim of an alleged child sex trafficking network claims she was prostituted at dozens of pedophile parties, which were attended by at least three former prime ministers at Canberra's Parliament House. Many historians rubbished the claims saying the 1970s was a lovely time to be alive regardless of whether you were a priest an entertainer or a politician.

As Russia unleashed waves of warplanes Thursday from an air base in western Syria to pound militant targets, President Vladimir Putin pushed diplomatic efforts with the West, stressing the need "to consider each other as allies in a common fight." Harking back to the days of WWII, Putin continued, "let's win together, then you guys can take one half of Syria and make it rich, and we'll take the other half and turn it into a communist shithole."