Saturday, July 25, 2009

Conversations Between America and Australia: An Expedition to Civilisation's Cultural Culmination through Westernism

Exhibit #10 - Punxsutawney Vox


Jamie
Oh! Vox is up again!

Josh
stalker

Jamie
Stalk time!
he hasn't responded yet....
I can wait forever....


Josh
what did you write?

Jamie
Referenced above Air Supply song since he still hasn't responded, once, to me, at all, ever

Josh
ah
he's on live now


Jamie
Pulled out the 'I talked to Duran Duran' angle

Josh
you did?

Jamie
Yeah didn't work, yet....

Josh
try mentioning boobies, soccer, italian shoes, or umbrella drinks

Jamie
he's gone!

Josh
you scared him away

Jamie
dammit, I tried not to!


Exhibit #11 - The Elusive Artist


Jamie
hello sir, good day.
I'm designing a video game. It's called LIVE CHAT WITH VOX
two players


Vox
Hey Jamie, can't talk now... writing.

Jamie
woohoo! No that is all, I didn't have anything after that

Vox
pax



Exhibit #12 - The Ways Of Understanding Hath Parted


Jamie
I got Vox

Nathan
oh hell!
well done sir!


Jamie
I waited I waited and then BAM, livin the dream, I did it. I can retire. But I won't.

Nathan
I need to read this conversation.

Jamie
Yes. Yes you do.

Nathan
Then share it you drunk aussie poofter!

Jamie
I did, I put it on my blog
Are you rednecking out on me
I can only explain a square


Nathan
did you put it on Tell'em to get stuffed?

Jamie
yeah
You're as fast as an Ethiopian swimmer at the Olympics


Nathan
it ain't showing up bitch

Jamie
It's the top blog entry, even you can't miss it, oh well, I'll post it here...

Nathan
Pax...
only Vox would talk that way


Jamie
He is like a goddamn Michael Jackson figure ain't he
I bet he walks away from people saying "I love you all, goodbye."

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Conversations Between America and Australia: An Expedition to Civilisation's Cultural Culmination through Westernism

Exhibit #3 - The John McCain Legacy

Josh


Jamie
I can see her getting old like McCain, those teeth in a jar beside the bed

Josh
shutup

Jamie
combover and everything

Josh
I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M NOT LISTENING!

Jamie
those weird jawbone lumps....


Exhibit #4 - Boston's Tea Party Mascot Party


Jason
if you have skills, you can be the Boston Celtics mascot.

Jamie
haha, you're a funny guy, that's why I'm gonna kill you last

Jason
no joke, they're hiring.
pays probably 90k a year, not a bad salary


Jamie
Interesting, I'm sure they can find a drunk Irishman in that town to do it.
I wouldn't enjoy getting slapped and kicked by an excited Kevin Garnett, scary guy


Jason
KG is not normal.


Exhibit #5 - It's A Man's World


Jac
ever seen one of these?



Jamie
No I haven't, I'm not into bikes

Jac
homo

Jamie
I prefer to dance like Michael Jackson

Jac
I said what what, in the butt

Jamie
And I like Oprah if someone like Will Smith is on the show

Jac
who's like will smith?

Jamie
Dave Chappelle, Ryan Reynolds, Andy Samberg

Jac
never heard of 'em.
So, when you show up in the South what do you want to kill first?


Jamie
Nothing, I love all animals, so my brain cells

Jac
what about doves? they're really just pigeons and those are pretty much just rats with wings. You don't love them, surely.

Jamie
Doves are used at weddings to symbolise hope and love.

Jac
there is a delicious irony to shooting something that symbolizes peace.
good eatin' too.


Jamie
I'll take your word for it.


Exhibit #6 - Whitey MC Ebonics And Expressionism


Jamie
What's up Op?

Phil
Yo whats up

Jamie
Late NYC night, all the city lights must be shining outside

Phil
it's a beautiful night here.
Low 70's with a nice breeze..


Jamie
Only low single digits in celcius here overnight, probably 3 degrees been the coldest so far

Phil
Not up on conversions but 3 sounds cold

Jamie
Fahrenheit goes higher, 100 over there is about 40 here

Phil
I really dig that crows hat you sport in that one video

Jamie
All my hats are Crows hats. I got a beanie, and two caps.
I'll be coming to the USA, NYC, not long away.


Phil
Well if your ever come through gimme a holla.
The old school clubs are gone but Im sure we'd wreck da town


Jamie
NYC is such a centre for urban culture, I can't miss it, always wanted to go

Phil
I love this city and can never leave it... niggas dont know.

Jamie
I'm the same with Adelaide, in the past I would just go driving around, looking at places, seeing things change, stop off eating, just playing music with the windows down till the sunset.

Phil
There's mad love here...


Exhibit #7 - America, The Plundered.


Jamie
When I get to NY I'll have to set aside time to hassle you.

Jason
no problem, i'll show you around
and I assume you'll hit up the rednecks down in tennessee?


Jamie
Definitely. I'll grab a rebel flag to take back here.

Jason
no one in australia will know what it means, right?

Jamie
Oh there's some, but they use it for lame retarded organisations, like neo-nazis, not realising the irony of flying a flag from a country that defeated the Germans in war

Jason
stupid skinheads, i hate that bs!
someday i plan on visiting Australia, too expensive right now, and all americans are broke.


Jamie
Yeah not cheap, and with the US Dollar going down long term more so. Good times for me.

Jason
haha, it'll only get worse. Biden said the only way out of bankruptcy is to spend money. Fools. God warned against the "wisdoms" of this world.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Conversations Between America and Australia: An Expedition to Civilisation's Cultural Culmination through Westernism

In the service of future society and of its development, I present to the public this tangible and intangible heritage of current civilised humanity and its environment, for the purposes of education, study, and enjoyment.

Exhibit #1 - The Disconnect

Larry
What's up Jamie?
Jamie
sobering up
Larry
big surprise
Jamie
MJ weekend over.
Larry
Glad to hear it. It was over for me before it began.

Exhibit #2 - The Strains They Call Variance

Josh
dude, $60,000 a month on drugs
Jamie
I haven't read it, MJ I'm guessing
Josh
not MJ, Jacko
Jamie
MJ
Josh
dude, even my MOM says that MJ is Jordan
Jamie
It's mum too
MJ and MUM

Josh
whatever