Saturday, September 29, 2007

AFL Grand Final

Geelong Cats vs Port Adelaide Power

Two port cities. One Premiership. Plenty of classic bogan culture.

The top two teams in the game end up in the Grand Final. But Geelong and Port Adelaide, what inspires these two teams? How are they perceived? What is the culture that delivers them to the game's greatest stage?

If you go to Geelong, you think, why am I here and not in Melbourne?

If you go to Port Adelaide, you think, why am I in Adelaide?

But today, both are on the national stage, bringing back the biff for the greatest prize in Australian sport.

The AFL Premiership.

The Geelong Cats, named after cats. Big cats from Africa? Maybe. But probably what you'll find when you go there. Stray cats.

Port Adelaide Power. Power is energy. Energy costs money. Something Port Adelaide residents have very little of.

But both teams have proven that fans with beer guts and thongs does not mean they are not machines with athletic ability to burn and so skillful they make the football look like it's round. These are the top tier of teams, working together, showing commitment, bravery, and most of all, the passion to strive to the top. To that last Saturday in September.

Half time show is almost over. I'll be back. Less capable of detailing properly, maybe, but I believe I can do it. My disposals are up like the Cornes brothers. Except mine are beers.

2nd quarter (32:00): HALF-TIME: Geelong 11.13 (79) Port Adelaide 4.3 (27) A breathtaking display from Geelong opens up a huge halfway lead over Power, which looks a step behind the pace and powerless to withstand the Cats' high-pressure game.

Port Adelaide is losing like the government has removed the welfare state. This is ridiculous, the Port team shouldn't have bothered showing up, I think the bogans there need to go protest the industrial relations work laws for a Saturday, cause its ruined their weekend. They are getting utterly smashed. Geelong is just too good, just too strong, just too awesome.

3rd quarter (27:50-29:30): GOALS (Geelong, Geelong). We're on for a record here. Nathan Ablett kicks his third before Mooney nabs another. Ebert marks and has a set shot on the siren, but it's not Port's day and he hits the post. Hawthorn's record 96-point win over Melbourne in the 1988 grand final is under serious threat. THREE QUARTER-TIME: Geelong 18.17 (125) Port Adelaide 5.5 (35)


Geelong is awesome.

Geelong 157 Port Adelaide 35

It's over.

Something Port supporters figured out about life a long time ago.

FULL-TIME: GEELONG 24.19 (163) beat PORT ADELAIDE 6.8 (44) An amazing display from Geelong. The Cats were off colour against Collingwood but this was their true form. Port was made to look like an amateur team, which it is anything but. Simply, Geelong is the best team in the AFL by some margin. Steve Johnson is awarded the Norm Smith medal for best on ground.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday, September 26 in the news....

  • President George W. Bush announced new U.S. sanctions against Myanmar on Tuesday as world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly focused on rising protests against military rule there. The focus initially involved figuring out whether Bush had misspoke again or whether it was a real country somewhere.

  • The death rate from breast cancer continues to drop steadily by about 2 percent a year, the American Cancer Society said on Tuesday. Awareness and check ups are playing an important role, said the makers of Girls Gone Wild from their offices.

  • Vilified as a Holocaust denier, a supporter of terrorism and a backer of Iraqi insurgents, the president of Iran was actually able to make New Yorkers burst into laughter -- but not at a joke. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country," Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at Columbia University on Monday in response to a question about the recent execution of two gay men there. Two homosexual men laughed then high-fived each other in the audience, they then turned to a reporter and said it would be even funnier if they didn't have AIDS.

  • Allowing Iran to acquire nuclear weapons could destabilize the world and lead to war, French President Nicolas Sarkozy told the United Nations on Tuesday. In a broader warning against the dangers of appeasement, the new French leader said: "Weakness and renunciation do not lead to peace. They lead to war." The French leader then looked over at the British and told them to get the laughing out their system now, before he continued.

  • Actor Kevin Spacey met privately Monday with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, one of Washington's most outspoken critics in Latin America. When told of the visit, Bush said he knew about it, and so did Superman.

  • A special effects technician working on the new Batman film was killed when a vehicle he was in crashed while on a stunt test run. Another crew member was fired for beaming a Bat-Signal into the air instead of calling an ambulance.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Weekend in Brief, September 22 and 23 in the news....

  • Ailing Cuba's leader Fidel Castro has appeared in a TV interview for the first time for three months now, putting speculation about his death to an end, BBC reported on Saturday. Castro has told his inner circle he intends to outlive the Bush Presidency. He declined to give a promise of trying to outlive another American institution unpopular as time went on, Police Academy sequels.

  • A case of cholera has been confirmed in southern Iraq, a senior health official said today, raising fears the virulent water-borne disease is spreading through the country. So far the only treatment to stop it for those who get it bad is an Improvised Explosive Device.

  • An Iraqi al Qaeda-led group, the Islamic State in Iraq, has shot dead five abducted Iraqi army officers and posted a video of the execution-style killings on the Internet. The video for 'Leave Britney Spears alone!' continues to outrank it on You Tube.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Week in Review, Sunday, September 16, 2007

  • An Al Qaeda-led group said on Friday it was responsible for the killing of Iraqi tribal leader Abdul Sattar Abu Risha, according to an Internet posting on Friday. Abu Risha, who met U.S. President George W. Bush less than two weeks ago, had led the Anbar Salvation Council, an alliance of Sunni Arab tribes that worked with U.S. troops to push Sunni Islamist al Qaeda out of much of the vast desert area. President Bush was saddened to hear of his passing, and said he alone had made the sandpit in Western Iraq almost safe enough for his Tonka trucks.

  • Four former Guantanamo prisoners should be allowed to proceed with their lawsuit claiming torture and violations of their religious rights, their lawyer argued Friday. When asked what the violations of religious rights were exactly, the lawyer put a gag on his clients after they said 'Killing Americans in a Holy War'.

  • Republican presidential candidates need to make a "clean break" from President George W. Bush and the U.S. government or they will lose in November 2008, a veteran Republican leader said on Friday. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Republicans need to approach it the same way he approached the three divorces he's had.

  • Russia's new prime minister has pledged to boost the country's military and economic might amid growing signs that he could emerge as President Vladimir Putin's sucessor next spring. He refused to boost the numbers of Russian lawyers saying guns and poison are still more than enough to resolve Russian business disputes.

  • In Philadelphia, the city's embattled police chief, acknowledging that police alone cannot quell a run of deadly violence in the U.S. city, has called on 10,000 black men to patrol the streets to reduce crime. After one week, 10,000 black men asked to be traded to Denver from Philly like Allen Iverson.

  • A man is due to go on trial in Moscow accused of the murders of 49 people. Investigators say he told them that he aimed to kill one person for every square on a chessboard. Which not only proves chess is still popular in Russia, but that Joseph Stalin's personable nature is alive and well.

  • A school in northern France was evacuated yesterday after a nine-year-old girl took a World War II handgrenade to show to the class. The other students sat on the school oval after the scare waving the white flags they had brought for show and tell about WWII.

  • Andrei Lugovoi, the former Russian agent wanted by Britain over the murder of Alexander Litvinenko, is running for election as an ultra-nationalist candidate in Russia. He is expected to campaign on matters of economy, specifically liquidating Russian debts.

  • A suicide car bomber killed eight people and wounded 15 near a police checkpoint in south-west Baghdad today, Iraqi police said. And Al-Qaeda has threatened more bombings during the month of Ramadan, the Muslim holy month, where men fast from sun up to sun down, and by 4 PM in the afternoon will kill anyone regardless of what they've done due to lack of food.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Saturday, Septermber 8 in the news....

  • Sydney's official APEC outfit has been revealed - tailor-made, knee-length Driza-Bone coats, the iconic Australian stockman's attire. Footy shorts and/or trackie dacks with the blue Bond's singlets were decided against, so were the accessories - the tongs for the barbie and the beer with stubby holder.

  • Portuguese police named the parents of missing British four-year-old Madeleine McCann as suspects in their investigation on Friday, their lawyer said after they were questioned for hours by police. The father of Madeleine, Gerry McCann, has visited the White House and met with the Pope, if found guilty Portugese murderers and rapists are hoping to meet with him next to offer their support.

  • The head of the United Nations' nuclear watchdog body on Friday rebuffed Western critics of a cooperation deal it has struck with Iran as "back-seat drivers" and urged them to give it time to work to help avoid war. The United Nations' watchdog said it can play front seat passenger better and that way it can keep a trained eye on the Islamic Republic of Iran driver who denies it's a car bomb.

  • Al-Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden appeared on a video broadcast by Al-Jazeera today, in his first public showing in three years, mocking the "weakness" of the United States. In the video, Bin Laden criticised the capitalist system, the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages, he also appeared to embrace global warming as a fact. From the statements it now appears Osama bin Laden may be hiding in the dorm rooms of student activists at Western universities.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thursday, September 6 in the news....

  • Eleven crew from the ABC comedy show The Chaser have been charged and granted bail following their arrest in Sydney today over a fake motorcade that breached the APEC summit security barriers. Julian Morrow and Chas Licciardello, two of the on-screen stars of the satirical TV program The Chaser's War on Everything, were among 11 detained by police. The Chaser team disguised themselves as a convoy of Canadian dignitaries, Canada was not invited to the summit, but when told of the stunt a representative at the Canadian embassy released the following: 'Ha ha very funny always the butt of someone's joke, leave us alone.'

  • Sixteen Saudis returned home on Thursday after the United States released them from a prison camp at Guantanamo Bay where foreign terrorism suspects are held. 15 other Saudis are rumoured to be held in New York City as part of the 9/11 investigation, but the bone and teeth fragments have not been identified conclusively.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Tuesday, September 4 in the news....

  • The first APEC protest was staged in Sydney on Tuesday, hours before U.S. President George W. Bush was due to arrive for a summit of 21 Asia-Pacific leaders, but police and media and those wearing deodorant far outnumbered the activists.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

More Sunday, September 2 in the news....

  • Parramatta star Nathan Hindmarsh says he saw no evidence of drug use by fellow Australian players, including Andrew Johns, at the Rugby League World Cup in England seven years ago. He said he's not a great thinker though and appealed for understanding as a guy who gets the shit knocked out of him for a living.

  • A search for two South Korean men missing on a treacherous stretch of the West Australian coast will resume tomorrow with police still hoping to find the tourists. They were reported missing when their internet accounts had been inactive for two days.

Sunday, September 2 in the news.....

  • Afghanistan has condemned the printing of a sketch of Islam's Prophet Mohammad with the body of a dog in a Swedish newspaper, calling it hostile towards the Muslim world. And the US military last week expressed regret after troops dropped free footballs for soccer-mad Afghan children depicting the Saudi Arabian flag, which carries the Islamic declaration of faith and the names of Allah and Prophet Mohammad. The idea of kicking them is considered offensive by Muslims. But, the idea of filling the balls with explosives and handing them back to US troops is not.

  • The Federal Reserve will take the necessary steps to shelter the economy from turmoil in financial markets but will not bail out investors who made mistakes, U.S. Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke said on Friday. Upon hearing the remarks, Donald Trump said his investors were doing just fine and the comments were uncalled for.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Saturday, September 1 in the news....

  • President George W Bush is to outline aid to mortgage holders today. The initiatives are intended to help homeowners with risky mortgages keep their homes. One of them is to take a higher paying job in Iraq.

  • It might be a while before David Beckham steps on the field again for Los Angeles or England. Beckham could miss the rest of the Los Angeles Galaxy's season after being diagnosed with a sprained right knee Thursday. The sequel to the film Bend It Like Beckham is expected to be called Bend Over Like LA Galaxy's Owner.

  • The parents of missing Madeleine McCann said on Friday they will sue a Portuguese newspaper that claimed they had killed their daughter. When it goes to court the McCann's will check in on the proceedings every now and then while they have dinner with friends.