Saturday, July 25, 2009

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Conversations Between America and Australia: An Expedition to Civilisation's Cultural Culmination through Westernism

Exhibit #3 - The John McCain Legacy

Josh


Jamie
I can see her getting old like McCain, those teeth in a jar beside the bed

Josh
shutup

Jamie
combover and everything

Josh
I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M NOT LISTENING!

Jamie
those weird jawbone lumps....


Exhibit #4 - Boston's Tea Party Mascot Party


Jason
if you have skills, you can be the Boston Celtics mascot.

Jamie
haha, you're a funny guy, that's why I'm gonna kill you last

Jason
no joke, they're hiring.
pays probably 90k a year, not a bad salary

Jamie
Interesting, I'm sure they can find a drunk Irishman in that town to do it.
I wouldn't enjoy getting slapped and kicked by an excited Kevin Garnett, scary guy

Jason
KG is not normal.


Exhibit #5 - It's A Man's World


Jac
ever seen one of these?



Jamie
No I haven't, I'm not into bikes

Jac
homo

Jamie
I prefer to dance like Michael Jackson

Jac
I said what what, in the butt

Jamie
And I like Oprah if someone like Will Smith is on the show

Jac
who's like will smith?

Jamie
Dave Chappelle, Ryan Reynolds, Andy Samberg

Jac
never heard of 'em.
So, when you show up in the South what do you want to kill first?

Jamie
Nothing, I love all animals, so my brain cells

Jac
what about doves? they're really just pigeons and those are pretty much just rats with wings. You don't love them, surely.

Jamie
Doves are used at weddings to symbolise hope and love.

Jac
there is a delicious irony to shooting something that symbolizes peace.
good eatin' too.

Jamie
I'll take your word for it.


Exhibit #6 - Whitey MC Ebonics And Expressionism


Jamie
What's up Op?

Phil
Yo whats up

Jamie
Late NYC night, all the city lights must be shining outside

Phil
it's a beautiful night here.
Low 70's with a nice breeze..

Jamie
Only low single digits in celcius here overnight, probably 3 degrees been the coldest so far

Phil
Not up on conversions but 3 sounds cold

Jamie
Fahrenheit goes higher, 100 over there is about 40 here

Phil
I really dig that crows hat you sport in that one video

Jamie
All my hats are Crows hats. I got a beanie, and two caps.
I'll be coming to the USA, NYC, not long away.

Phil
Well if your ever come through gimme a holla.
The old school clubs are gone but Im sure we'd wreck da town

Jamie
NYC is such a centre for urban culture, I can't miss it, always wanted to go

Phil
I love this city and can never leave it... niggas dont know.

Jamie
I'm the same with Adelaide, in the past I would just go driving around, looking at places, seeing things change, stop off eating, just playing music with the windows down till the sunset.

Phil
There's mad love here...


Exhibit #7 - America, The Plundered.


Jamie
When I get to NY I'll have to set aside time to hassle you.

Jason
no problem, i'll show you around
and I assume you'll hit up the rednecks down in tennessee?

Jamie
Definitely. I'll grab a rebel flag to take back here.

Jason
no one in australia will know what it means, right?

Jamie
Oh there's some, but they use it for lame retarded organisations, like neo-nazis, not realising the irony of flying a flag from a country that defeated the Germans in war

Jason
stupid skinheads, i hate that bs!
someday i plan on visiting Australia, too expensive right now, and all americans are broke.

Jamie
Yeah not cheap, and with the US Dollar going down long term more so. Good times for me.

Jason
haha, it'll only get worse. Biden said the only way out of bankruptcy is to spend money. Fools. God warned against the "wisdoms" of this world.

posted by Jamie-R at 10:02 am

Thursday, July 02, 2009

About Me

Name: Jamie-R

Location: Australia

Influences - Ted Bullpit, Paul Hogan, Alex P. Keaton, Dennis Miller, Rob Sitch, Bill Burr.

View my complete profile

"I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes although I'm gonna be on for an hour."

-- Richard Pryor

"Don't applaud that! Applaud my idiocy."

-- Conan O'Brien

"It's hard for me to get too serious. My motto is we're all going to be dead sometime, so relax."

-- Dave Hughes

"I enjoy being part of the entertainment industry, although I'm the laziest person that I've met yet in this business."

-- Paul Hogan

"There is no off position on the genius switch."

-- David Letterman

"I noticed that what you could say I was saying, even though I'm not saying it on purpose, is that the world is insane."

-- Steven Wright

"Comedy is the blues for people who can't sing."

-- Chris Rock

"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."

-- Sam Kinison

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

-- George Carlin

"I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem."

-- Chevy Chase

"Have a little fun."

-- Eddie Murphy

If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

Previous Posts

• October 26, 2015, in the news.....
• October 25, 2015, in the news.....
• October 24, 2015, in the news.....
• October 23, 2015, in the news.....
• Conversations Between America and Australia: An Ex...
• Tales From America: The Nate Chronicles Part IV -...
• Tales From America: The Nate Chronicles Part III ...
• Tales From America: The Nate Chronicles Part II -...
• Tales From America: The Nate Chronicles... Chapter I
• Coming soon.....

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Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Hebrews 13:2